Being Inked

Part 5 of 7 ~ tattoo education
as I partook in this experience in the Fall of 2000.

Dedicated to the whole truth - my experience ~ from the beginning of the idea to the end of the first week of recovery.

Being Inked {more appropriately titled: Virgin Screams} - Saturday, November 4, 2000
Unfortunately, I had not thought much more about getting my tattoo since I last discussed the design idea with Scott approximately two weeks ago. If I had gotten my inking done closer to the planning stage I think I would have been more mentally prepared for the procedure. I had already figured out that I wanted this dragon tattoo - so I knew I was safe that way. I knew it was something I definitely did not want to back out of. I was not having second thoughts.

But, last night I had the jitters. I wanted the dragon but didn't really want to "go through the procedure." I guess I had my vibes about it - and I was right {stay tuned}. At least I was prepared with a couple of bottles of my favourite red French wine waiting for me back home.

This morning I was mentally slow - very slow getting going. Maybe I was trying to delay? I also felt as thought I was coming down with something - and didn't feel a 100/per. I was about 20 minutes late leaving for my appointment. I just wanted to get the day over with I thought - I wasn't feeling very good. I was more excited about my husband getting his tat today than for me. I thought about the music I wanted to play there to relax my mind - nothing was coming to me - nothing was clicking. I almost fell asleep in the car on the way over.

We arrived. I felt so bad for being late for the appointment. Then I felt really nervous and excited at the same time. I felt more nervous as the minutes ticked away and I watched Scott prepare.

He showed me the design changes. They were great - I was happy with what he had done on paper. Scott made a stencil of the design and we positioned it on my lower back just right where I wanted it. I was to go first, my husband second.

By this time our tattooed lady friend had arrived to help me through the operation. I was glad to have the extra moral support - I now had two people to squeeze to death!!

Scott started and made a quick outline with the machine to let me know what to prepare for. He asked and I said it seemed bearable. But the next line and every line to come seemed MUCH deeper! Since my lower back was extremely sensitive and thin{?} - and my pain tolerance low - the inking procedure was extremely painful. Funny it was more painful on the right side of my back than on the left side and near the spine the pain was excruciating {now that was polite!!}. It seemed to me that Scott alternated inking on the left and then the right side of my back- I was glad for this as it gave me a little bit of a break - from severe pain to difficult-to-deal-with pain. {I'm not sure if he did this deliberately or not but I was glad for it}. I felt as though sometimes Scott was actually bumping into bone - especially near the spine and lower right side of my back. {Scott did mention that he had heard every word in the book...but I did my best to remind him of some of them.}

It took 3/4 of an hour just to outline the design on me in black ink. I just about died. I didn't know if I really wanted this beast coloured now or not but I know I would never be happy if it wasn't - I would just have to do it. Once started - I couldn't back out, no matter what, because if I did my body would "not look right" and I would be miserable with it. I also knew how difficult it would be for me to come back and finish knowing the pain I was going to have to endure so I decided it would be best to just carry on. I was swimming in sweat - it was dripping down my forehead and it was running down my legs. {mixed with tears flowing down my cheeks} My neck and shoulders hurt from tensing up so tightly. I was only half way done. I wanted to squeeze my supporters even harder than I was but sweat prevented me from doing so {maybe it was a good thing for them}.

A great relief came periodically during the entire procedure. It was when Scott wiped down my back with cold disinfectant soap. Compared to the burning hot skin it was a wonderful feeling! A couple of times I remember asking - is it time for a "cold one?"

Scott and my friend assured me that the colouring stage felt different. It was a gentler feeling compared to the outlining procedure. Just the same - I was already totally exhausted and not interested in proceeding too much longer.

The colouring stage was different in some ways, yes - much more vibrating! But it still felt extremely painful. Where were my endorphins?!?!?! Scott was very sensitive to my pain. He would talk me through what parts he was colouring, he would tell me what colour he was doing next and ask me what I thought of his artist's decisions when creating the coloured areas I had not been sure what to do with. He always checked with me first to make sure I approved. He even counted the lines aloud when it was painful so I would know exactly how long each part would take. Thank you - this was a great idea!

Sometime during the colouring of my tattoo I needed another mental passageway out. The music {on loud and demented} was starting to lose the touch. I was unable to focus on my breathing. I felt as though I was starting to have a panic attack. All I could think of was the soothing sound of the human voice. I asked, demanded or begged {I don't remember which} for my husband to talk to me - to recite a story - non-stop. As he did this I was finally able to float - I felt as though I was not "mentally in my body" to experience the pain. I listened to his voice constantly but never heard what he said. I started tapping to the music and quietly chanted in my head what I needed to hear myself say. Unfortunately, this peaceful calm was not to last as long as I wanted. I couldn't get it to come back either. It was still rather a painful time but I was at least experiencing this calming feeling for a short time and it gave me some mental relief. I can't say now that I remember which cds were playing during my inking time or what, if any, conversations went on while I was being inked. I was too focused on getting through my pain.

After Scott coloured the claws and teeth of my dragon. I asked how many colours were left to do. He said I was all done - I remember feeling like I was going to pass out just from pure joy.

I had literally survived another hour!!

I could not stop the tears from flowing now. I HAD DONE IT. I looked in the mirror and admired the beautiful dragon. He was now mine. I hugged my husband tightly for quite a while. I WAS DONE. I was so happy. I was crying for joy and it took a while to stop!

We had a breather and admired the dragon.

Next came the thick application of Vaseline and the bandages which were taped onto my skin. This process was to keep the air out, to help the tattoo heal from underneath and to help seal it to stop the oozing overnight. After a while my bandage felt completely soaked from the Vaseline as it melted against my hot skin.

Thank you to my husband and to our friend for I think I inflicted some of my pain onto them. {they mentioned something about squeeze marks!!}. They were great for talking me through the entire procedure as well. I know this was difficult to do, to sit through and boring as well.

Thank you Scott for being sensitive to my pain and patient with me.

My husband's experience was next after an hour's break. But that is another story…